FIERCELY ADVOCATE TO LOVE YOURSELF
Love Yourself! Doesn’t everyone? Not really! And, what comes to your mind when I use the word “Fierce”? What about “Advocate”? I bet you don’t usually put the two words together, do you? Much less, hearing a life coach put them together. I’m asking you to shift your thinking and consider becoming a Fierce Advocate – to LOVE YOURSELF! Does that sound interesting? It gets better…
Perhaps you don’t look like the woman in the photo (I know I don’t), but it doesn’t matter. What matters is attitude. And she is FIERCE! It’s all about attitude, recognizing what is great about you, and how that ties to what you truly want in your life.
What has to happen to clear the decks for you to become a Fierce Advocate to love yourself? The main thing you have to do is to let go!
Practice letting go of the…
- Perception of time constraints
- Feelings of not being worthy
WHAT IF YOU WERE REVIEWING A MOVIE REEL OF YOUR LIFE?
WHAT WOULD YOU LEAVE IN, LEAVE OUT, OR WISH YOU HAD EXPERIENCED?
What if you were reviewing your life story in film? How would you edit it? Are there things you would leave in, leave out, or wish you had experienced so you could add it to your story? This is not an end-of-life exercise. It needs to be happening in real time. You need to be adjusting what you pursue when it needs to be adjusted. There is never a good time. The time is now!
What if you viewed your life reel? Where would you be the most proud? Would that give you pause? Are there things you would like to forget? Is anything missing that you would like to build into your lifetime of achievements? Did your experience surprise you when you went through this exercise? You learn! Appreciation abounds about where you came from and how far you have come. Your life experiences can help you learn to let go of the things that were painful but may have shaped who you are. Embracing these parts of your life for the value they have delivered to you is a blessing.
ONE KEY TO LOVE YOURSELF – STAND IN YOUR TRUTH!
WHAT WILL IT TAKE?
Dynamic change calls for fierce action. Readiness for change requires courage. Small steps count. When change is too overwhelming, small steps help break the effort into much smaller, and more manageable parts. Advocacy requires a decision to take a stand. Preparation and courage are the best friends of advocacy. But, to really be successful, a unique vision is required! You have to have a vision of what you want and make it your own.
5 THINGS YOU NEED TO DO TO FIERCELY ADVOCATE FOR LOVING YOU:
- Create a vision for what you want – You need a visual of what you want and it has to be something that is truly important to you. Use this vision as a constant touchstone as you make decisions.
- Make a decision to take a stand to love yourself – Take a stand for yourself – you are worth it! If you remain wishy-washy, you will get those type of results. Specificity of the stand you take for yourself is key. You can build in some wiggle room in order to have a pre-determined range of acceptable outcomes. Each interaction can be an opportunity for negotiation.
- Muster some courage – Step into your courageous self – the one that knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go for it. I know that’s not an easy one, but if you are going after the right thing, it will become easier, I promise.
- Prepare for a successful outcome – Do your homework. Be ready by knowing what you are and are not willing to accept. Don’t sell yourself short by having an absolute outcome that will be the only acceptable one for you.Don’t be too rigid in your outcomes – UNLESS only one outcome is the key to your happiness.
- Own your vision to love yourself– Know that your vision is something you designed just for you. It no longer reflects what others expect of you, but what you want for yourself. Don’t apologize for it and don’t back away from it if and when you are challenged.
MY EXPERIENCE WITH THIS TOPIC
When I was most challenged with self-love, it was after an unexpected layoff from my company of 18 years. I had a myriad of challenging, high-level positions, and it left me reeling. I wrote about my experiences in my book and I use the process outlined in the book for anything important in my life. You can grab a free chapter by clicking the button below.
WHAT ABOUT OPPORTUNITY?
Or, in the rare chance that an opportunity falls in your lap, you have to be ready to go for it. I had an opportunity to secure a new client. Her call for a coach was out there. I had to be ready to reach out, put myself out there, and follow-up.
HOW DID I FOLLOW THE ADVICE I AM GIVING YOU?
- I had a vision for working with this type of client,
- I made a decision to reach out and give it my all,
- I mustered up the courage to set a meeting,
- I prepared my pitch in a way that I felt would resonate with her,
- I OWNED my vision to love myself and know that I was worthy.
This is just one example of how I prepare myself for accepting or creating opportunities. This is one of the best ways to Fiercely Advocate to love yourself and get what you want. To be a Fierce Advocate for loving yourself, you will have to decide on an area of your life that is really important to you. This doesn’t mean you have to pick only one option. Quite the contrary – you can select as many areas or options as you want. I would urge you to prioritize based on what you want the most.
Often, some Fierce Advocates try to apply their energies to a smaller, or less important priority first. You must begin with the priority to love yourself to set the stage for everything else. It allows you to test your approach in an area that can amp up your motivation while you step back and tweak your approach to your next priority.
Finally, here some examples regarding how you might put these elements to work for you. Hopefully, some will resonate with you.
5 EXAMPLES OF HOW YOU MIGHT FIERCELY ADVOCATE FOR LOVING YOURSELF IN DIFFERENT AREAS OF YOUR LIFE:
(not all will apply to you, but feel free to run with the ones that do):
- Want a raise or a new title? Fiercely advocate for pay or a title that reflects your added value. Do your research. Don’t be afraid to approach the subject. Prepare for a robust discussion. Make your case.
- Want a relationship? Fiercely advocate for spending time with someone who adds to your life and doesn’t detract from it. Follow your intuition. Learn to balance what you want with the needs of someone else. Learn to accept help from the person with whom you choose to be in a relationship.
- Want a better relationship? Fiercely advocate for what makes you happy and helps you feel like you’re in a partnership. Don’t settle.
- Want to focus on “you” for a change? Fiercely advocate for the time and space it takes to do things that really matter.
- Want to plan for a future that makes you very happy? Fiercely advocate for taking the time to uncover what you want and create a plan for how to get it.
LOVE YOURSELF – THE FINAL LESSON:
And finally, NO ONE WILL ADVOCATE FOR YOU THE WAY YOU ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF. This is absolutely true! You can clue someone in who might be able to help you advance your preferences and what you truly want, but only you can absolutely represent your desires and what you are willing to accept.
I hope this empowers you to Fiercely Advocate for what you want! That’s my goal. I wish I would have had a mentor who could have taught me these lessons earlier in my life. I would have avoided a lot of pain and frustration. Don’t wait for tomorrow, don’t assume you will get to this sometime in the future when things calm down. You won’t, they won’t, and time will keep moving. Carpe Diem!
My story of my personal reinvention is documented in my book, Your Next Chapter: 5 Steps to Creating the Life of Your Dreams. I want to inspire you to think about your own approach to advocating for yourself. If you click the link below, I’ll send you a free chapter of the book. I hope you enjoy!
I’m Tina Meilleur and a Leadership and Business Mentor, author and speaker. You can learn more about my story here. I am also the founder of Design Your Success and the Academy for Business Success. My mission is helping high achievers match their desires, skills and experiences with success on their terms. My “It’s My Turn” program and CRAVE™ process are systematic approaches for making simple “tweaks” or orchestrating a total reinvention. I am the author of Your Next Chapter: Five Steps to Creating the Life of Your Dreams to help others build anything they want into their life. I have a CPA designation in the State of Louisiana and received my MBA from Tulane University in their Executive MBA program. I’m a highly sought-after mentor, life coach, female CEO facilitator, business strategist/coach, and speaker. You can reach out to me at Tina@DesignYourSuccess.com.