Do you have those people in your personal or professional life that ALWAYS seem to bring conflict? If you aren’t comfortable with conflict, it can cause you to dread certain situations, withdraw, or avoid certain people. I’ve had this issue most of my professional life, but it wasn’t until I trained as a coach that I began to understand some of the deeper issues at play.
Avoidance isn’t always possible, but you can adjust the feelings of “dread” or “desire to withdraw” so they are not so debilitating. It takes some practice but can make a real difference in how confident you feel.
I truly believe that we can deal with difficult situations by being prepared with our responses. We can’t anticipate every situation, however, if we can prepare for those that we know are likely to happen, we reduce the level of uncertainty for ourselves. Let me explain with an example…
You have a peer, supervisor or employee who often brings drama and/or conflict to their interactions with you. You begin to feel dread when they approach or cringe when you see an email or text.
Here are a few strategies you can practice and deploy:
1. ANTICIPATE – History tells you there will probably be conflict or drama, so acknowledge that at the time you start to feel that dread. Face the idea this may be one of those situations and take control of how you will respond.
2. DETACH – Don’t take anything personally. Practice detaching from your habit of making it about you. It’s more than likely all about THEM! It could be their style, their need to vent, or even their need to complain. If they aren’t happy in any area of their life – including their career – it often comes through in these instances.
3. PREPARE – Have responses that you can use that help to:
- Quickly shift to the outcome you want to achieve
- Keep the conversation focused and productive
- Make your position and/or decision perfectly clear
- Suggest a follow-up discussion or decision if the interaction isn’t going anywhere
My goal is to always keep you growing professionally and personally. When you withdraw from important interactions or are less engaged when you are uncomfortable, others don’t see you at your best. I want you to show up powerfully, able to reflect all the wonderful things you have to offer.
If you want to see how powerful coaching can be, set up a complimentary call with me and we can work through a difficult conversation so you can approach it with confidence… You can schedule it HERE.