You know that feeling – where if you imagine something big, you are sure to fail? I have often experienced that fear.
What I couldn’t relate to was something else I was feeling, sometimes just as strongly. I never had words for it, I just know that I felt it and it really sucked when I couldn’t “tag”it with anything but the word “fear”. The word “fear”wasn’t adequate because I couldn’t work on something that was so nebulous in my head.
I have felt this all my life – as a kid, in my graduate studies, as I was pursuing my CPA, in my corporate career and now in my work as a coach.
I’m a coach trained in the Martha Beck coach training program. As Martha teaches us, we have to “Live it to Give it”. We have to clear out our own “stuff” and make sure we are present and available to our coaching clients.
As I began to study the tools and techniques to effectively coach my clients, I learned so much about myself and my own limitations – my beliefs. This was a system of beliefs that I held about myself that had no foundation in truth. I had gotten so comfortable with my own story and the lack of understanding about this fear, I had no idea how to approach it. AS I WENT THROUGH THIS PROCESS FOR MYSELF, THINGS BECAME A LOT CLEARER.
And guess what! I finally figured out what I was feeling. It had a name! It was called an upper limiting belief – FEAR OF SUCCESS!
Can you imagine? FEAR OF SUCCESS? I now understand this is quite common. When we begin to dream and visualize what is possible for ourselves, we get scared of what we can be. The feeling is the same, and the basic premise is the same – CHANGE!
But there is something different about this fear of success. It is about our “greatness” – how successful we can be. There are so many reasons for this fear…..we think we are not worthy, we may become the most successful person in our family, others are smarter and more deserving…the list can go on.
You see, all these reasons are in our head – the stories we have told ourselves – the excuses that keep us from moving forward. And if that is the case, it means we can control this fear!
How did I deal with it and what can you do?
- The “greatness”is what scared me so I kept moving in little steps so I wouldn’t focus on what scared me the most. Break things down until you feel more comfortable with moving forward.
- I couldn’t focus on the total plan to get there, it was too overwhelming. Focus on the steps you can take today, tomorrow, this week.
- I realized if I had the courage to dream big, I must also have the courage to make it happen. Know that you possess what it takes to succeed in the way you define success for yourself.
- I had to stop listening to the voice in my head that kept telling me I wasn’t worthy. Celebrate your individuality and your talents – only you can paint the canvas of your new life.
- I took inventory of all the talents and experience I had and began to apply them to my new definition of success. Everything that you have learned and experienced in your life so far will apply to whatever you are trying to accomplish.
I have redefined everything I had known. The loss of my job felt like failure, until I realized I had something bigger to do with my life and could help a lot of people if I started doing so.
And I’m here to tell you there is life on the other side of this fear!
When you begin to feel this fear, take a deep breath and:
- ACKNOWLEDGE IT
- ACCEPT IT
- THINK OF SMALL STEPS TO HELP YOU MOVE THROUGH IT
Did you know this fear of success existed?
Have you ever felt it?
Did you get through it? If so, how?
Let me know what you think about this topic….
Don’t let anyone, including YOU, get in your way of achieving the success you deserve!
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