EMBRACING YOUR STYLE
I was sitting around with a group of leaders the other day. I was setting the stage to begin executive coaching with them. As I listened to the conversation, I was struck by how perfectly matched they were. Each with their own style, talents and gifts, and innate personality traits. Each had something to offer the team that was different from the others and critical to the success of the group. They had each learned that embracing your style helps you show up powerfully. That’s why this work is so fascinating to me.
However, when I focus on me, I am, by all outward appearances, a hard-core extrovert. Extremely social. I’ve never met a stranger. I have a way of making others feel comfortable with me. It’s a gift and I truly appreciate it every day. But that’s not the whole story.
THE PRICE OF BEING AN EXTROVERT
Sometimes, it simply takes the life out of me and I feel I can’t take another step. Yes, it happens. I hit a wall. I’ve learned that it takes a great amount of energy for me to be that extrovert. When I was younger, I never really understood that. I just thought I got tired from all the activity. What was wearing me out was constantly putting myself out there. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE interfacing with others and being social, and giving of myself if it helps another person.
Sometimes I would even feel resentful. I felt that others were taking advantage of me. I kept giving and others kept taking. I didn’t know how to sort this out in a way that made sense. There are some extroverts who can be “on” all the time. You may be one of them, but I’m not!
SOME OF YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP POWERFULLY FOR OTHERS
Imagine how many of you are serving others constantly and have to put yourself out there in a big way:
- Mental Health professionals
- Law Enforcement and other security professionals
- and the list goes on and on…….
You put yourself out there ALL the time. And in a big way! Others appreciate you, but I doubt they know how much it may take for you to show up every day. My question to you is simple – Do you even recognize what it takes for you to show up? It’s not just about physical energy, but mental energy as well.
THE PRICE OF BEING “ON” ALL THE TIME
It’s not uncommon for you to feel a bit resentful. I bet if you do, you quickly dismiss it and feel guilty. I’m giving you permission to feel what you feel. It’s normal, it’s natural, and it’s your brain’s way of signaling you to set some healthy boundaries.
When you set these healthy boundaries, you work on setting aside some energy not only for yourself, but to help you continue your extroverted existence.
SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
Here are 5 ways you can set those healthy boundaries for yourself:
- Learn to say “no” without guilt – check in with yourself and your bandwidth. Do you have time? Is it something only you can do? if the answer is “no” to any of the questions you ask yourself, then it should be easier to deliver a “no” to your requester.
- Ask for help – realize there are people around you who are very willing to help you if you only ask. Stop trying to juggle it all – it’s simply not necessary.
- Work on delegating – go through your “to do” list and see what you can delegate. Get clear on your reason for doing so and communicate to those to whom you delegate the tasks. State what else you need to focus on, but remember that the tasks that keep you so busy are probably some that another person should be doing.
- Practice trusting and letting go – there are very skilled people out there who can take on some of your issues and knock them out of the park. Once you learn to trust in their abilities, you can let go. Eventually, you will start to have both the issues handled and the associated mental peace that all is well.
There is one final item:
5. Schedule time for recharging – make this non-negotiable, put it on your calendar. When you are looking at your week or month, find a day or a couple of days that allow you to recharge in your own way. It will make a big difference!
MY OWN RECHARGE WEEKEND
I’ve learned to recharge along the way.
The main photo for this blog says it all for me. My recharge is about getting in touch with my inner child. I like to do things that get me outside, that tap into my creativity, that get me moving. As a matter of fact, I spent my weekend at my lake house and got in touch with that energy. I sat on the pier with my feet in the water, I did yoga on the pier, I did a little fishing (actually just casting, but it didn’t matter), I wrote some blogs and other content for my business, I grilled dinner and watched the sunset from the back deck and of course, played with my adorable dog.
If this blog really resonated with you, please help me get the conversation going by leaving a comment. AND if you want a reminder of some actions you can take to Energize Your Career, I have a download for you. A beautiful infographic with my 6 R’s for Energizing Your Career. You can get it by clicking below. Then check your inbox for the download link.
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I’m Tina Meilleur and a Leadership and Business Mentor, author and speaker. I am also the facilitator of a Women’s CEO group. You can learn more about my story here. I am also the founder of Design Your Success and the Academy for Business Success. My mission is helping high achievers match their desires, skills and experiences with success on their terms. My “It’s My Turn” program and CRAVE™ process are systematic approaches for making simple “tweaks” or orchestrating a total reinvention. I am the author of Your Next Chapter: Five Steps to Creating the Life of Your Dreams to help others build anything they want into their life. I have a CPA designation in the State of Louisiana and received my MBA from Tulane University in their Executive MBA program. I’m a highly sought-after mentor, life coach, female CEO facilitator, business strategist/coach, and speaker. You can reach out to me at Tina@DesignYourSuccess.com.
Those 5 steps for creating healthy boundaries are so helpful for everyone to keep handy. I need to practice saying no. That’s a hard one for me.