What are Forbidden Conversations for Women? 

A Forbidden Conversation is one that you want to have, but you’re afraid to express.

It’s one that’s been churning in your gut, but you continue to suppress.

It’s the result of years of burying your feelings so that you can “play nice” and not “stir stuff up”.

It happens when the topics are close to your heartso personal, so important to your well-being, so necessary for you to flourish – that the risk of having a conversation that doesn’t go well is far too great. 

So you don’t.

You believe there will be a “right time” to bring this up.

A time when others may be more receptive to your ideas or your needs.

But the time is never right.

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and months turn into years.

You wake up one day at the end of your rope. You don’t quite know what’s wrong, but you’re really irritated and it won’t go away.

You know something is wrong – you’re not really happy, but you don’t quite understand why.

You’re too busy “being busy” to take the time to drill down into what is really going on inside.

So, you bury our feelings, you suppress what your true needs are, you act like it’s no big deal.

You wind up mad at yourself, frustrated at others, and feeling like nothing will ever change to help you get what you truly want.

And you wind up not feeling safe at all.

NOW WHAT?

I’m here to begin to shine the light on these issues so you can follow the beam of light out of the underground vault and bring the issues into the light of day.

Are you with me?

Let me say, this is not for the faint of heart. Issues that remain buried for a long period of time can be harder to bring to the surface.

But it’s worth it. I promise you.

HOW DO I KNOW?

I say this from experience. I had a super successful corporate career and felt guilty that I wasn’t happy.  I KNEW there were other women who would be grateful to have what I had, so I buried my discontent. I vented occasionally, but was so afraid that my negative talk would “get back to” the wrong people and would have an impact on my career.

I had a “black or white” switch to my emotions – they were either positive or negativethere was no “gray” area. How short-sighted that proved to be! If my feelings were positive, they were spoken, BUT if they were negative, they were buried – all with the intent of dealing with them at a later date.

If any of this resonates with you, read on!

HERE IS A SAMPLE OF 7 FORBIDDEN CONVERSATIONS FOR WOMEN:

  1. THE FORBIDDEN CONVERSATION: When I look at how little time I have for me, I wonder how the hell I got so involved with things that really don’t matter?
    • THE IMPLICATIONS: 
      • I have NO time for myself
      • I find myself spending time on trivial issues that mater more to others than to me
      • I just keep saying “yes” and staying involved when my heart isn’t really in the game
  2. THE FORBIDDEN CONVERSATION: I’m tired of the pressure of being the breadwinner! I want someone else to pick up the slack and contribute more.
    • THE IMPLICATIONS:
      • I live on a constant diet of stress
      • I feel trapped and not able to follow my own dreams
      • I am resentful of having to be the one who take care of everything 
  3. THE FORBIDDEN CONVERSATION: I’m really sick of getting pulled into everyone else’s drama! Why can’t I opt-out of the drama and stick with it?
    • THE IMPLICATIONS:
      • I am everyone’s “go to” for discussing the drama in their life
      • I feel “dumped on” and not very free to pursue what is important to me
      • Every time I pull away, I allow something to pull me back in
  4. THE FORBIDDEN CONVERSATION: I’m afraid that if I got what I truly want in my life, it would not be aligned with where I am today and that scares me to death!
    • THE IMPLICATIONS:
      • I’m afraid I’m living a lie and not being true to myself
      • I’m scared that I’ve wasted so much time
      • I don’t know how much upheaval it would take to move closer to what I want
  5. THE FORBIDDEN CONVERSATION: I’m tired of saying “yes” to everyone and everything and I don’t know how to stop without pissing people off.
    • THE IMPLICATIONS:
      • I’m a people-pleaser and don’t know how to stop
      • My fear of disappointing others is greater than my desire to take care of my own needs
      • I’m afraid an “about-face” on my part would alienate others around me
  6. THE FORBIDDEN CONVERSATION: In order to get what I really want, I’m realizing that some of the relationships in my life just won’t work for me any more!  I’m scared to cut back or end the relationships that are sucking the life out of me.
    • THE IMPLICATIONS:
      • I realize the relationship with my spouse or partner may not survive if I pursue what I truly want in my life
      • My circle of friends will probably have to change in order for me to support my dreams
      • I wonder how much more positive energy I could generate if I surrounded myself with people who believed in me
  7. THE FORBIDDEN CONVERSATION: I feel like an imposter in my own life.  I feel like I’m going through the motions to keep up appearances, but it’s only a matter of time before others discover I’m a fraud. 
    • THE IMPLICATIONS:
      • I spend a lot of my energy “proving” myself, which is exhausting
      • I worry that I’m not moving forward because I’m trying to hard to maintain
      • I don’t even remember how good it feels to simply let down my guard and “be me”

SO WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?

I’m not advocating for any of us to blurt out exactly what is on our mind at any given time. That wouldn’t be very wise at all. I am suggesting you can find a way to air the issues that aren’t “pretty” or might make you feel “ungrateful” if they are important enough to your well-being as a woman.

We are all about joy. As women, we are joyful creatures – we do for others, we create experiences for our family and friends, and we are strong. So, why are we wasting so much energy caring about what other people think about us or how we will be perceived?

It is a learned skill.

Which means we can challenge it and “unlearn” it.

Finding ways to ask for what you want and need is liberating.

Won’t you stay in touch and explore with me?

This is an important topic for all women, but if this topic resonates with you, welcome to my tribe!

Let’s take the next step in your exploration…….

Give yourself 4 – 5 minutes to take my free quiz. It will help you determine how well positioned you are to build these Forbidden Conversations into your life and get closer to the life you want to live. 

Take My Free Quiz Here!

I’m Tina Meilleur and a Leadership and Business Mentor, author and speaker. I am also the founder of Design Your Success and the Academy for Business Success. My mission is helping high achievers match their desires, skills and experiences with success on their terms. My “Next Chapter” program and CRAVE™ process are systematic approaches for making simple “tweaks” or orchestrating a total reinvention. I am the author of Your Next Chapter: Five Steps to Creating the Life of Your Dreams to help others build anything they want into their life. I have a CPA designation in the State of Louisiana and received my MBA from Tulane University in their Executive MBA program. I’m a highly sought-after mentor, coach, facilitator, and speaker. You can reach out to me at Tina@DesignYourSuccess.com.